The death of my maternal grandmother on 8/29/1994, was the first death I experienced in life. I just turned 9 years old a month before and my family in Albany, GA were recovering from the 1994 flood from Tropical Storm Alberto. My hometown of Dawson, GA only experienced heavy rainfall and minor flooding in areas close to bodies of water. It was my mother's 34th birthday and I still remember playing with my older sis (12 years old at the time) when the doorbell rang. It was our grandfather, my mother's father at the door letting her know that my grandmother passed. My mom was in disbelief because we had just visited her days before and she was recovering from surgery where a blood clot was removed due to head trauma from a previous car accident. She was coherent at the time, talking as usual. I still remember her showing us her beautiful red hair in a ziplock bag (she had a scarf on). We learned that she suffered a stroke which led to her sudden death at 50, a month shy of her 51st birthday. My mom comes in to tell us that grandmother passed and we were both shocked. I don't even remember crying at the mention of her death. I remember my mother telling our father she passed when he came home from work. There was a silence between my sister and we later met our family at the hospital and that's when my mother broke down and cried and then I started crying. That moment may have been the last memory of my mother crying. My mother was never the same after that and at that moment and every year around my mother's birthday, it was a dismal time of celebrating life while also honoring the memory of a loved one. I felt weird telling my mother "Happy birthday" but she understood my heart and through the years, I learned ways to honor her without it being weird. When she turned 50, I made sure it was extra special by gifting her favorite Gospel artists' albums that she once had on cassettes with the ones on CD with additional titles added. As time went on, simple prayers and cards were my tokens of celebration that she appreciated. During COVID in 2020, I surprised my mother for her 60th birthday. Despite the circumstances at the time, I made sure to be intentional. It was a blessing to have made those memories. A memory of my grandmother that sticks out to me is when my Dad had car trouble while we were in school. I remembered my mom calling grandma to come and take all of us to Albany so he could see what was happening with the car. My grandma had a white car but that particular moment, she came in her friend's gray Camaro which resembled my Father's car. After the car was situated, I remembered all of us grabbing a chicken family pack from Hardee’s (chicken, biscuits, and sides) and we came back to the house. Grandma talked with us for awhile and then she headed back home. Everytime we went shopping in Albany, we always made a point to see grandma. With all the pictures I've taken with family through the years, I wish that I would have had more photos early on with my grandmother. She was a fashionista, a DV survivor, a woman of God, and just a beautiful person, very reminiscent of the late great Tina Turner. She would have been 81 this year and when I meet women in her age group, I often think of how she would have been had she lived. She left us too soon, but I know she never left our hearts and memories.
In loving memory of Emma Lee Lowery Mays aka 'Shug', 9/24/1943-8/29/1994.
Lequvia Ousley
